TARNISHED TAMAR By Aleele Paago

Gen 38

My life is filled with bitterness. My heart has been broken into a thousand pieces.

Death moved into my home and made it a permanent address. First it was my husband. Then I was made to marry his younger brother. He had never liked me even when my husband was alive and he never pretended about it. When he inherited me as wife, he showed the disdain even on our marriage bed. He swore to me that I will never bear his children and every time we had sex (we never made love) he would withdraw when the seed of life is coming. God heard my cry and he died. I did not mourn him.

My father in law was kind, but he has lost two sons and believed I was bad luck. So he tactically sent me home to my parents on the excuse that his last son was too young and when he is old enough he will send for me. He never did.

He came to my village and I knew he would be looking for a prostitute to sleep with so I did the unthinkable. I lured him to my bed and what a time we had! (well I say that with shame). Thank God I conceived. That was all I wanted. I wanted to keep my husband’s name alive.

But my father in law demanded that I should be stoned to death. He has found the perfect reason to kill me. But God was on my side after all. Not because I had done the right things. What I did was sinful and I sincerely repent of it. But I was only a desperate woman trying to keep the tradition I was born into.

God upturned the yoke of barrenness, took away the death in my home removed the reproach from me and gave me sons that remain a testimony in Israel.

My name is Tamar, daughter in law of Judah and the Matron of the Messianic lineage and I am a survivor. If your story is not as bad as mine, then you stand a better chance. If your story is worse than mine then Jesus – the Messiah is even much more pleased to give you that chance to prove your abusers and haters wrong.

Yes, I am a survivor and so are you.