DEAD END

We toured through hospitals hoping mama will recover fast. Mama lost so much weight this one year but it has been so interesting.

We have seen a different daddy.

***

Mama was writhing in pain on her bed when I walked in.
“Bring me a bucket, I want to throw up,” mama said.
I brought her a small bucket. By the end of that day, she had thrown up three times. I was wondering what to do and how to help when daddy came in. I welcomed him and explained that mama had been throwing up all day.

 
We managed mama through the night. At 6:00 a.m. we were at Ledon Hospital but the doctors were not there. Daddy took Dr. Lekan’s phone number from mama and called him. Dr. Lekan was in the hospital thirty minutes later and mama was on admission at 7:00 a.m.
Everything was progressing well until the fifth day. Mama started complaining of pain in her lower abdomen. Dr. Lekan checked her and suggested an appendectomy. Mama and Daddy consented.
Monday came and mama was taken to the theatre. Post operation progressed well until Thursday morning – well, except that she had not passed gas.

 
Daddy prepared pap for mama to drink. Dr. Lekan suggested that we try the pap drink. She managed to take two spoons and couldn’t continue. Then her stomach began to distend. Daddy called the doctor in but he couldn’t explain the detention. He referred us to the teaching hospital where he was a consultant.

 

Dr. Eze sent mama to do a barium meal test. The result showed her intestine tied up in a knot which meant she needed another surgery to correct the anomaly.

 

 

Daddy barely traveled these days. He followed every procedure and prayed for his wife’s recovery. The day of the surgery came. Daddy signed the consent paper and the nurses took her into the operating room. The surgery lasted eight hours with a team of three doctors. Mama recovered consciousness three hours later.

 
We visited three other hospitals in referral to manage mama’s case. Every day came with it’s own challenge but having a patient and caring daddy eased the pressure.

 

***

 
Mama and I were pleasantly surprised at daddy. Mama wondered if he was the same man who married her, I wondered if he was the same daddy I’ve always known.
Then one night in Goshen Hospital, I went to the patients’ lounge to chat with the male nurse on duty. When I got back to the room, mama was unconscious. I waited patiently for her to come back. Three days later, we were driving her corpse to the mortuary.

LONELY ROAD

I spoke to mama later in the day. She apologized. She said she was upset. I agree she must have been upset. Anyone in her position would be a victim of high blood pressure but she managed to keep her mind and acts together without fatal health issues.

I still wasn’t happy that she took out her frustration on me but it gave me a peek into her mind. I just couldn’t blame her. Life had played her an unfair card.

***

“You all are wasting my time. I want to leave here now,” daddy called from the entrance door.
“We are done sweet,” mama responded.

We were seated in the car 10 minutes later – I, mama, Ola (my cousin who lived with us), and Nma (my cousin who was visiting for a couple of weeks) – everyone but daddy who emerged from the house 10 minutes after we were all seated.

“You had something to do in the house but you kept hurrying us as if we were the only ones keeping this movement,” mama said.
“I’m sorry I had to use the toilet,” daddy answered.

We observed the highway was almost deserted. It appeared there was a travel restriction that only us and a few others didn’t hear about.

“Even the trailer drivers heard. None has passed us today,” Ola observed.
“We’ll probably get to the toll-gate and we all will be impounded for illegal traveling,” mama said and we all laughed.
“You still have toll-gate in this state?” Nma asked looking surprised.
“Oh! My bad. I forgot there are no more toll-gates in Nigeria,” mama said.
“Yeah. You’re probably thinking of the crayfish you left in the kitchen at home,” I said.
“Where did you put our room’s key?” Daddy interjected.

Mama began to search her bag frantically. Daddy noticed her fussy search and began to slow down. I was praying and shaking.
“Not today, Lord, not today,” I prayed.

But my prayers seemed late. The fun and freedom in the car had disappeared.
“Keep driving, sweet, I’ll find the keys,” mama said to daddy.
“Stupid woman!” daddy flared. “You’re so careless, I don’t even know why I married you. What if you left that key outside? What if someone finds it and takes it?”
“Sweet, if you saw the keys and picked them just let me know. There’s no need for all these insults.”
“Better find that bunch before I descend on you.”
“That’s enough daddy,” I cut in. “There’s no need for all these abusive words.”
“I knew you’d support her. You never see wrong. You’re just like your mother – Stupid!”
“I’m not stupid. There’s just no need for all these things you’re saying. If you have the key just get it out and ask her to be more careful.”
“If you don’t stop talking back at me, Adaora, I’ll drop you here.”
“That’s enough Ada m,” mama said.
“No mama! Stay out of this. He either stops insulting you or he drops me here. I’d rather walk back than listen to all these crap from him.”

Daddy stopped the car and asked me to come down from the car. I came down without hesitating and went for my bag in the trunk. I’m not sure he believed that I meant it but I was going to head back to where we were coming from. I reasoned that I’d stay in our neighbour’s house and that the road will be safe for me.
My cousins were terrified. Mama cried silently. But my mind was made up.

Nma came down from the car to intercede for me. While she pleaded, she asked me to apologize but I refused. I figured that he was the wrong person embarrassing his wife before his child and his nieces so he was the one who needed to cut his arrogance and apologize.
“Daddy, imagine a member of the church stops by and wants to find out why we are here?” Nma asked.
I don’t know if it was the question or a change of heart but we were on our way shortly after and daddy was trying to buy everything he could afford to appease mama.

Caught in the Middle

Dear Soul,
I hope you are good? If so, doxology.
Soul, I want to encourage you. I am writing to remind you that you are beautiful and blessed. You are a blessing to your generation. I want you never to be discouraged no matter what you face. I love you forever.
Yours Faithfully,
Adaora.
***

I searched frantically for this letter in my little purse that housed my valuables. I was going to shed a tear when I found the letter hidden in a little torn part of the purse. I unfolded it gently and read its contents again to reassure myself.
***
Mama and I usually sat on the sitting room sofa having a gist about nothing in particular whenever I came home from school. I loved to talk with mama, it was like relaxing with your best friend. We got all playful at times, throwing silly jokes at each other.
My favourite joke was when I said something rather stupid and she’d ask me “ahu odikwa gi?” (that is, “are you alright?”) Then she’ll ask me to come for examination. She’d raise her hand to check how hot my neck was and then she’ll swiftly move to my head to deposit a knock. Then I was always alert to spring away from her when her hand left my neck.
On this particular day, we were together when she asked me to sweep the sitting room. I hesitated, intending to do it at my own pace. I was totally unprepared for the words that followed next. Slowly, I got up from where I sat to carry out her instructions.
***
I sat down quietly in my room thinking through everything mama had said to me. She had blamed me for her marital predicament. They were words too heavy for me to bear.
Did I ask to be born? Did I choose my gender? Did I choose not to have siblings? Am I an evil child?
I must have slept off thinking because when I opened my eyes the sun had gone west and its golden-yellow beam filtered lightly through my curtains.
I got up from bed and began to search my purse for my letter. I needed some reassurance to get ahead with my life.

Beyond Bounds

“Ada m, i lòla!” mama called out excitedly from the dining room, where she sat chatting with Nmesomachi, without getting up.

I just returned home from school for a three-day midterm break and I was excited to be home. (Did you attend a boarding school? Kai! The wahala nor be here ooo. I hated the most that mama had to be out of sight every now and again. Then those seniors that wouldn’t come with their personal “boyi” from their houses.)

 
I dropped my bags in the sitting room and walked briskly into mama’s embrace. “I am so happy to see you, mama m”, I replied in my high-pitched voice. “You have come back again with this your olu ogene. You must damage someone’s ears to send your message across,” Nmeso fired at me.

 
I sat on mama’s laps laughing. “Nmeso, I missed you o. I maka zi. You people are feeding fat in this house,” I teased her. “But wait! Instead of saying welcome and telling me you how much missed me, you are yabbing me? Don’t worry I’ll go back again.”
“Is going back a threat? Biko wait I want to hear better things. Or do you want to go back now?” Nmesoma responded giggling. “There is food in the pot if you’re hungry. We were talking before you came in.”

 
I went to the kitchen to help myself with a plate of jollof beans and then I rejoined them at the dining table.
“…that was when he grapped me and threw me on the cushion – that long cushion. I cried and begged him but he wasn’t listening to me. He was already undoing his belt when Emeka’s daddy knocked. I don’t know if he heard us, but his coming delivered me,” Nmeso finished.

 
“Are you planning a new movie? Who wan rape you for this world?” I asked curiously.
“My dear! Ada m, your father is on a new low. Nmeso is just telling me what happened here two Fridays ago, while I was at work,” mama said disenchanted.
“Okay, this is a joke right?” I said, unable to hide my disgust. “Nmeso this won’t happen again. I trust mama to make sure of that.”
“It won’t happen again Ada because I’m moving next week. I already made arrangements with my course mates in town,” Nmeso replied. “I don’t want to create such chance again. I won’t tell my father, as I had intended. Rather, I will go”, she concluded.

 
I didn’t argue because I understood her need for safety. I just wondered why mama had to be the one cleaning up these messes. I wondered what good marriage served, especially for women.

Sleepless Nights 2

I woke up from sleep suddenly and followed the sounds to the sitting room.

I was now a senior student at a boarding school so I wasn’t always home to deal with the noise. I thought I’d prayed enough for these things to pass so I was surprised to find that mama still had sleepless nights from Daddy’s unhealthy disturbances. As I approached, I wondered if God didn’t hear my prayers and why these issues were still here.

“Ada! Ada!! Ada!!!” I heard him beckon me between laughter and heavy heaves, “Please come o, your mother wants to kill me.”

Wait, did I perceive him laughing? Really these late night disturbances are fun to him? I see.

I walked past him without saying a word to him. Okay, I greeted him. But I wondered how he managed to get away whole if mama actually made a move at him.

“Mama what happened?”, I asked as I sat beside her. I would believe her own narrative more. She never told a story to justify herself nor did she try to make up her part of the story. At least from my perspective.

“He wouldn’t let me get some rest”, she began. “I’ve pleaded with him and I have to be at work in the morning so I raised this stool to hit his head. God saved him he went away”, she finished.

I sat smiling at her. Here was my heroine. She finally took action after all these years. I gave her a hug and told her it’s alright. She had peace, a well-deserved peace.

Years later, I asked daddy why he gave mama so much trouble.

“I didn’t know how better to handle issues. Beating your wife is a convenient part of African marriage, I did what I knew best to do,” he responded.

I don’t agree with him on the subject of African marriage, but how does that change the past? We’re moving ahead into better times and we’d teach our sons right.

 

DIARY OF A CHURCH GIRL

© Transforming Words Series

Sleepless Nights 1

I got out of bed and followed the voices to the little passage that linked my room to the sitting room. The bathroom and toilet were on the right, while the sitting room was on the left. They were at the passage struggling with each other.

“Please, leave me alone sweet”, I heard her saying. But he continued.

I went over to help her. I picked up my shoe making to hit his head with the heels but she intervened, even in her distress.

“Ada m stop!”, she said even though distressed, “He’s your father. Don’t do that.”

I was disappointed. He was hurting her, yet she was considering who he was.

“You asked me to leave him? He’s hurting you. Are you sure about this?” I asked her.
“Go into your room Ada m, we’ll sort this out”, she said.

I went back to my room aware of extents I couldn’t go. The nights continued. Several of them. But I had learned to intervene differently – PRAYER.

Mama taught me to pray about everything. She showed me that part of scripture that asked us to “pray about everything”. So I added peace to my list.

Every morning and night, I prayed. I went back on my knees if I missed praying for a peaceful home. In church, prayer meetings, devotions, I prayed.

But peace never came until….

 

Diary of a Church Girl

©Transforming Words Series